In retrospect, this semester has been a whirlwind. I went into it with one life, and I am coming out of it with almost everything being entirely new.
I went into the semester unemployed…I came out with a job I love for the first time.
I went into this semester feeling like I was alone…I stand now with some of the best people I’ve ever met and have the pleasure to call them my friends. I got the opportunity to reconnect with my best friend.
I went into this semester with a lot of time to take naps…I’m coming out of it with barely enough time to breathe (or write this!).
However, I have come out of this semester with a ton of lessons learned. Maybe these lessons can teach you something, too.
1.) You have to learn to be your own friend. As much as people can enhance your life, it is a rare occurrence for people to be around you 24/7. In the alone moments, the broken and stressed and awful times in your life, it is imperative that you know yourself deeply enough to thrive in the mess. Take some time for yourself — take yourself on a coffee date, go write in a journal, spend time reflecting. In the times your life seems to be crashing down around you, the most terrifying thing is to be alone with a stranger.
2.) Surround yourself with the right people. It’s one of those diamond-in-the-rough moments to find a community of people you fit in with when you’re like me — and honestly, I did not know I would ever find people that understand the way my brain works. However…somewhere along the way, I took a shortcut through campus and ended up working at a newspaper with people that actually get me. Every week, I get to be surrounded by a bunch of crazy people that challenge my intellect, help me grow to achieve my dreams, and understand more of my brain than most people. This seems like just a happy story, but it took me 21 years to feel like there was ever a place I could fit in. The answer to this dilemma, in case I can save you all a few extra years of wandering, is to chase your passions. They lead you to people who are chasing similar things, and that makes you realize how lonely and difficult it is to walk the path alone. After 21 years, I can say with the utmost honesty — find people who you can truly communicate with, and allow them to help shape your life.
3.) Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism. One of the scariest journalist moments in my life happened during the editing of my first story (for those of you who don’t really get that picture, imagine showing a prized work of your art to a critic from Europe who wrote all over it, highlighted every missed eyelash or misdirected brushstroke, and then turned the paper over and made you start again). It was terrifying, soul-crushing, the type of experience that makes a person want to never speak or write again. And quite honestly, the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach while seeing my work torn apart my some of my close friends has not gotten easier — criticism is so hard. However, I have also spent hours laughing with these people over the simple mistakes I make over and over again. I’ve learned to admire the intelligence and patience it takes to mull over a story and try to make it perfect. And I’ve learned how much the editing process can turn something good into something great. This is such a great way to think about us — from the right person, criticism is not meant to hinder or hurt you. The process of improvement, even though it’s terrifying, is a way to take the good in you and make it great. Don’t neglect the opportunities you have to grow.
4.) Do the thing you’re thinking about right now. Sometimes, taking a leap is all you can do to keep yourself moving forward. If you’ve been chewing on a thought or potential action for a long time, do it. The worst you can be is wrong, and the worst you can do is find that out and redirect (see #3). Taking risks and leaps of faith can be the only way you learn about yourself at times. Maybe you feel awkward — but someone else could see the awkward as amazing. Maybe you think you won’t be able to go through with something — you are so much stronger than you think. Ask the questions you’re dying to ask. Dye your hair and get the tattoo. Don’t sell yourself short because the risk is too risky. Follow your dreams. Try the new food. Go out on a limb. You’re going to surprise yourself.
There are so many lessons you can learn from simple changes of heart, simple changes in life. It’s crucial to respect the process. Respect your heartbreak. Respect the times in your life when you don’t think you can move past this moment. Let yourself feel everything, grieve everything, and heal. The process of growing, learning and living is what keeps us moving. Learn to love it.
the afterthoughts. 