This has been really difficult to decide whether or not to post, because the song in question here has a really brilliant message and I have no doubt that it’s been encouraging women (or, rather, probably younger girls, if we’re all being serious) since it’s been aired.

Is that a valid disclaimer? I think it serves as one. I do not doubt that this song has encouraged women, however I feel like a second opinion could be necessary. There.
The song in question is Colbie Caillat’s Try.  I’ve been hearing it more and more on the radio, and to be quite honest, the more I hear it, the more I cringe.  In the same way John Mayer repeated (and repeated, and repeated) “say what you need to say” for emphasis’ sake, Ms. Caillat repeats “you don’t have to try.”

Yes, I consider myself a feminist. Yes, I believe society tends to put pressure on women to be prettier, act and be a certain way, and be more “likeable” and that this can turn into some really awful image and worth issues for some girls. Yes, I have been one of those girls. And the first time I heard this song, I teared up a little and was excited that this song gave all us girls permission to relax on society’s standards.

And then the message went on repeat. You don’t have to try. You don’t have to try. You don’t have to try.

Here’s the problem with society–YES, we are all under a lot of undue pressure. But there’s no way this should translate to telling people they don’t have to try.

I know so many beautiful, strong, capable, intelligent, quirky, absolutely weird, different, and wonderful women–and I know so many men with a lot of the same traits (yes, I know some beautiful men. I meant that part.). And a lot of them have felt the effects of society’s pressure to be perfect.  But let me tell you, my friends who are bodybuilders and powerlifters will be pretty adamant in telling you that they are defeating some pretty overbearing societal standards. And they try a lot. They try like hell.  And my friends that are single moms, artists, pastors, teachers, students, or just humans trying to live whatever life they can–they try like hell, too.  And their lives–just like most of ours, and definitely mine–would be nowhere if they decided out of nowhere that they didn’t have to try.

No, I don’t wake up and try to fit a standard I’m pressured to fit–even though, believe me, there is pressure to fit–but I do wake up and try.  I try in the gym, in school, at my job, in my relationships, with my family, in my church–I fight like hell to live my unique and quirky and crazy life. And if I didn’t try, that life would not exist.

So, my rebuttal message to this song goes out to all of the people struggling under society’s standards–no, you don’t have to keep hitting your head against the wall trying to be what people want you to be. But please, please, please keep trying. Work hard at what you enjoy, and put effort into your life.  Watch your work unfold before your eyes and appreciate the person God made you to be.  Trust me, you will not regret it.